When I first heard about the mission of FOCUS, "To know Christ Jesus, and to fulfill His great commission by first living and then communicating the fullness of life within the family of God, the Church," I got pretty excited. I mean, REALLY excited. I remember "studying" Metaphysics in the library at school while really researching what it was like to be a missionary and wanting to CRY because the idea of doing that for at least the next two years of my life was so radical and incredible! Why? Because sharing God's love through evangelization is AWESOME!
So I suppose the question becomes, is this all that I was hoping it would be? Is life just dandy and perfect? Well, like many things in God's plan for my life, it's much more than I could EVER hope for, and much more of a struggle than I could have anticipated! But that's ok, because that's all part of God's plan too. I wanted to share some of the surprises that I've experienced since I've gotten here, simply to demonstrate how God's plan is SO MUCH bigger and better than my plan, and that He really takes care of us when He calls us to do certain things.
First of all, the struggles. I suppose one would be the hours that we keep. Today, I began the day with a run with a student at 7am, and will end the day by locking up after a 9-10pm Bible study and driving a student home around 10:30. Last night, I was watching a movie with students until about midnight. Overall, this sort of lifestyle is pretty average for us as missionaries. While here, we are called to be radically available to the students, and that involves keeping their hours and sharing life with them at all hours. It's tiring, for sure! But the conversations that you have running at 7am and the trials that they are going through which you are able to bear with them over s'mores at midnight TOTALLY make it all worth it!
Another struggle is one that I was warned about, but still surprised by. When I was interviewed, a missionary told me that often particular difficulties that you've faced dealt with throughout your life can surprise you again, which can be discouraging and difficult. Has this been true? For SURE it has! But, as an awesome priest here in Lincoln pointed out, our weaknesses can help us to recognize our total dependence on God in a much deeper and very needed way, and that's pretty darn awesome. Ultimately, we're nothing without Him, and continually seeking His help in our re-occuring weakness reminds us of this truth.
What else has come as a surprise? God has been equipping me for this for the past 8 years!!! I was reflecting on this, and blown away by it! First of all, God was good enough to teach me some tough but important lessons during high-school that have been really instrumental in allowing me to relate to many of the girls here, which has been such a gift! Additionally, many of the students are THIRSTY for the philosophical and theological insights that I was so blest to learn while at Ave Maria, and it's been such a blessing to pass these on and help their minds to be blown away by some of the same things I was when I encountered the depth and rationality of the Truth for the first time!!
Most of all, the JOY that has come with missionary life has blown me away! So many students involved in what we're doing have the same zeal for souls that God placed on my heart, and I've learned so much from them!! They are having meaningful conversations with other students, just like us missionaries are, and we're truly sharing Christ's love together. Hearing how FOCUS has been instrumental in bringing them to this point has been really great, and their examples really attest to how God is working here at UNL.
Pray for me and the other missionaries, PLEASE!!
God bless! : )
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